Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Anniversary

So it's been almost a year since I've posted. I got bored and forgot this blog existed, but then I unforgot. Funny how that works.

So, anyway, the past few days, I've had two separate jobs and I'm still not happy. I worked at one of those recycling centres that are basically two semi-truck hauled bins out back of a grocery store for about two days. It was absolutely awful. The place has a constant stench of old soda, old beer, and for some reason old people at all times. I got a stomach flu after a few days because of how bloody filthy it was, and since I don't speak Chinese I couldn't understand half of the people coming to make 15 bucks off of 50 pounds of soda cans. The other half were hungover college students. Seriously, fuck recycling centres.

But now I'm some sort of political fundraiser or something, honestly I don't even know what I do. I have no idea why I ever even applied for this position, I have about as much interest in politics as I do in 3rd century Hungarian history. Actually, I think I'd be more interested in the history, I could at least make some wisecracks about horse cocks or something. I've been in this job for a day and I'm already ready to put a bullet in my head. Hopefully one of the other countless places I've applied to will respond.

So hey, less depressing topics, here's a list of things my fucked up brain thinks of randomly when I'm macheteing my way through my daily activities or, God forbid, not because my machete is in the shop.

-Why does Old Spice have their product name in French in addition to English? Don't French people not use body wash?
-Am I the only one who freaks out awake whenever I have a dream about peeing out of fear of peeing in real life?
-Am I the only one who goes out of his way to misinterpret vague, attention seeking statuses on Facebook just to fuck with them? "Some things just aren't meant to be =\" "Yeah, I wish Firefly had a second season too."
-Is it wrong to give up cocaine for lent?
-God and Mary must have had one hell of a St. Patrick's Day, 9 months before Christmas.
-Road trips with deaf people must suck.
-I like how airport security wants me to throw away my "suspicious liquid" in my water bottle... in the trash can right next to where he's standing. Because if it was a bomb, it'd be so much worse to have it explode at the gate than at on the plane.
-I'm such a worse person when my girlfriend isn't with me on a regular basis. It's like being addicted to a drug that makes you less of a dick, and I'm off my meds.