Of Footballs and Kegs

So Super Bowl Sunday rolled around, which normally means less than nothing to me because I don't really care about sports. However, since I had to work that day, it meant I got to partake in the 5 gallon keg of Virgil's root beer and the 28 inch pizza my work ordered for the people who worked during the game. I have to say, that root beer kinda gave me a minor boner, I'm not ashamed to admit it. It was just that delicious. It was so creamy I thought they spiked it with ice cream.

So after work me and a few buddies headed up to another friend's house for a little get together, and by get together I mean a bunch of guys drinking, playing beer pong, watching the last 5 minutes of the game and eating pizza. All at the same time because we're skilled like that. So before the party we conspired to get a keg from the local BevMo because employee discounts are amazing and apparently apply towards them.

So we picked up a 5 of Pyramid Hefeweizen (it was Super Bowl Sunday at like 6pm, we had to work with what they had left) and off we went, the whole time two of my buddies wondering if we'd be able to finish it. Clearly they vastly underestimated the extent of out love for alcohol. That fucker was gone in an hour. I mean come on, you get a bunch of young guys together with a keg, do you expect it to last any longer? If so, you're either hanging out with Mormons or Boy Scouts, or a combination of the two, and it's a boring story regardless.

The worst part about hanging out with a bunch of trashed people is they will inevitably begin telling me their innermost problems and issues which, while a few make interesting blackmail material later, always bore and annoy me. The real issue isn't the annoyance, it's the fact I can solve their problem in 5 minutes, every time. But they all seem to want to keep their pain so they have something to bitch about. The absolute WORST part is that if I laugh at their stupidity, suddenly I'M the bad guy. Luckily I actually AM the bad guy, so I can laugh all I want and not feel bad about it. Also they'll forget the following morning, so I can usually crack whatever jokes I want to!

I absolutely love the fact I don't get hangovers but my friends do. It's a lot of fun being as loud and cheerful as possible early in the morning when everyone else looks like someone drugged a bunch of the background dancers from "Thriller", then beat them with a lead pipe. It really doesn't seem like a Monday today. I suppose that's a good thing. I love having two days off in a row at random points of the week.