Pandora Is The Greatest Thing Ever

To those of you who have been living under a rock or in the state of North Dakota where the internet isn't allowed, there's an amazing, awesome, epic, sexy, fanfreakingtastic website called Pandora. It's basically the greatest thing ever made, because it's radio with less commercials that you can play on your computer while you're pretending to do your papers for class but you're really alt-tabbed to watch videos on YouTube of cats running into walls or jumping in boxes.

Pandora is also free. Did I mention that? If you're a cheap bastard like me, and let's face it, you probably are, this means a LOT cuz most things above a 6 on Christian's Awesome Scale require money to use. Pandora is a notable exception, ranking in at a whopping 8.2 Awesos. That's roughly ten times the awesomeness of bottomless steak fries at Red Robin and only slightly less awesome than surfing on a Harley down Highway 67 while on fire flipping the bird at passersby before inevitably going out in a blaze of glory once hitting El Cajon in an inferno that will not be forgotten for years to come.

Still only .6 Awesos above Pandora.

Pandora KNOWS WHAT YOU LIKE. I know, this sounds like a program Isaac Asimov would write about, but in his story it would totally go batshit insane and try to kill all of mankind with Hannah Montana and Target ads (I HATE THAT COMMERCIAL. BLARGH). But seriously, all you do is put in a band, song, or genre you like and Pandora is all like "ALRIGHT DUDE I GOT THIS" and continuously rocks out with songs very much like the one you put in that you can rate to further refine your search. THE THING ADAPTS based on you whining or worshipping various songs and artists. That's pretty goddamn legit. If Pandora was a woman... well, a HUMAN woman, I would totally have dibs on her and make her my own.

Pandora probably looks something like this, but without the vodka tattoo.

What's the best Pandora station, you might ask? Well, if you like what I do (and if you don't, get the hell out of my blog), that would be the channel Someday I Suppose - The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Don't ask me why, but this one channel in particular has the greatest, most random music in it, from RBF and Mighty Mighty Bosstones to Blink 182 and Nena and Dexy's Midnight Runner's covers. Greatest channel ever.

"Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flames it's because someone wanted you to."
-Chandra Nalaar